I am becoming an old teacher

The thing is that ... yes... I am becoming old. Even though, some people still see me young, I already have white hair since long ago. But more than the physical aspect, it is inside where I feel I am getting old.

Today, going to the mall with my girlfriend, I had the chance to meet like 5 ex-students. This is normal for me, everytime I go out, I usually come across with some students. But today, I saw 5 different ex-students, from different years, with different backgrounds, living different lives.

And then I felt old again. It is silly, because I have just 7 years of being a teacher. But then I saw them and everyone is living a nice life, probably with problems as everyone, but they looked so different from those children who were asking me questions, or showing me their homeworks to be checked. Too many things came to my mind, too many experiences, moments, minutes that will never come back, but they will last forever in my heart.

But the real question is ... did I do something for them? did I change their lives in someway? was I important for them? I hope the answer is yes, but I won't know, I just want to think that during all the years they were studying with me, that one of my actions or words really meant something for them, so they still remember me. I hope I meant something in their lives, like some of my teachers did on me.

I always think myself as a gardener, but a gardener who received the plant already grown up, and what it is sadder, a gardener who will never see the fruits of that plant. This can sound frustrating, because we don't know what plant and in what condition we will receive it, and we won't know if the fruits will be abundant or not. As teachers, we have to be happy and blessed to be part of the growing of that plant and give as much as we can to be sure that it will grow high and strong, giving a lot of good fruits. And who knows, as the time is passing by so fast, if we are good gardeners, then we will see how great and robust is the forest.

Meanwhile, I am still getting older and older.